Tag: US

Have you ever met a married couple that was so lovey dovey that it just about made you sick to your stomach? You wouldn’t mind so much if they were newlyweds, but for crying out loud these two have been together for years. Yet every time you go out with them, they are in full mushy mode. They openly vow endless love and one refuses to make any decisions without consulting the other. It’s enough to make you want to sue the pastor who presided at their wedding ceremony.

The cynic in you says this is nothing more than an act they put on to fool the public at large but you know in your heart that is not true. You have seen these two in action when they didn’t think anybody was looking (no not like that!) and from your observations, they are the real deal. The love, trust, mutual respect and sheer enjoyment they get from being in each other’s company is as genuine as a Sunday morning.

So how did they beat the odds? In the US alone roughly 49% of all marriages end in divorce. While the good news is the divorce rate has dropped to its lowest level since 1970, the reality is 49% is still a high number.

Yet even when couples decide to stay together many are trapped in a marriage that has plenty of routine but little else. Somewhere during their relationship, the marriage went from fun and romance to a chore that saps the energy out of both parties.

It doesn’t have to be that way. There may not be any full proof guaranteed cure alls for the relationship blues but every little bit helps; like the 3 A’s.

1. Attitude

Marriage is a chore if you convince yourself it’s a chore. Do you look at every bump in the relationship road as a crushing obstacle or a challenge to overcome which brings the two of you closer together? It’s all in the way you perceive it. When you change your attitude, don’t look for your spouse to make the initial move. “Saying I’ll do it if you will” means that it may never get done. Work on your outlook first. Hopefully, your significant will notice what’s going on and get on your wavelength.

2. Attention

Your spouse has been exercising or upgrading their appearance to please you. Are you taking notice? What about your communication and listening skills? When it’s just the two of you, neither spouse should have to compete with the TV, newspaper or internet to get your attention. Keep it mind that what they want to tell you is not always going to be of the earth shattering variety. Sometimes they just want to talk or vent or see what’s on your mind. Either way show them your undivided consideration.

3. Appreciation

Too often when we think “we’ve got it like that” we tend to take the other person for granted. Break that mold and start buying your significant other a small gift even when it’s not a special occasion. This is an excellent way to show gratitude; however it does not have to be monetary. For instance, they do the same household chore day in day out but now you start thanking them for doing it. In fact you surprise them occasionally by doing the work for your spouse without being asked to do it. When it comes to appreciation within a marriage, little things mean a lot.

The goal in any relationship is to be selfless enough so you both are a team that just keeps getting better and better. Trying the 3 A’s can help considerably with your game plan. You might not ever win Couple of The Year but stick with it anyway.

This is a tropical question that usually brothers people mind and thinking today and it even makes people to shy away from marriage and the responsibilities associated with marriage .This is largely because of the increasing divorce rates , separation , trouble relationship , break up that we are all experiencing in our modern society today. More than 50% of marriages in the United States end up in break up, separation and divorce today after 5-10 years of marriage and up to one million children in the US every year suffer the psychological and emotional trauma of breakup and broken relationship.

This statistics makes mostly young people growing up to dare marriage thinking whether it will work for them since it did not work for their parents, family members or their neighbours.

That not withstanding the available statistics and experience that we have in our society today, you can still build up strong lasting relationship and marriage only if you are willing to give it the commitment, trust and faith that going into a marriage relationship demands of you with all your heart and faith belief that your marriage will certainly work for you and your spouse to be.

The reason why you are scare about marriage today is because of the urgent experiences that marriage has presented to us in our present generation and most of the ugly experiences today , we see it right from our homes with our parents and you have been thinking whether you should get married because you do not want to end up with a relationship filled with great pain, worry and disappointment that could make you to become an emotional rake, even though you like the idea of marriage and the marriage institution comes with respect and regards for people that are in it .

You also want to have someone that you could love, share your love with , spare time together to build a home and a family and the current challenges ,experiences is making you to be scare. You can certainly over all that and be able to build a great relationship that stand the test of time. The Bible says that if you are willing and obedience, you will eat the good of the day , so one of the good of the land that God has destine for us is the marriage institution that he created right from the beginning of the world from the time of Adam and Eve.

He knew that it is not good for a man to be able alone hence , he gave Eve to Adam. God is the creator of marriage and he will certainly help you to build a long lasting relationship and marriage if you are willing to follow the right principles and steps to building great relationship notwithstanding the ugly situation that we might have seen today in our family and society at large.

If the partners in a relationship are ready at all times to work on their relationship and determine in their minds that their relationship must work out for you .They must make share that there is positive communication at all times in all issues, all misunderstanding show be resolve on time , the partners in a relationship should be willing to make sacrifice and compromise where needed to meet the needs of their partners , they also have to forgive and be willing to share the needs of each other.

Partners in relationship must be willing to exhibit the principle of self sacrifice giving up self in order to meet the needs of the other person but that in itself should be reciprocal by both parties in a relationship, where it is one sided , it will bring about impatience and disappointment from the other party.

I know you wouldn’t believe if I told you that spending too much time with your partner would hurt the relationship. People have the conventional belief that spending more time together helps to understand each other better. However, they do not know that all of us are actually individuals who need personal space.

It is important to learn how to achieve the balance between US (needs of relationship) and ME (individual needs). A simple equation can explain this:

“ME + ME = US”

Too much “ME” can result in you and your partner drifting apart, while too much “US” can stifle your partner, causing resentment and undesirable conflicts.

You must learn to achieve an equilibrium of family, friends, love, work and self. How can you maintain your individuality?

1. Go and take part in an activity which you can enjoy even if you are alone. Take up some courses which interest you such as surf boarding, yoga or dance classes. After sometime, you will discover that you are a much happier person with more private time for yourself. This is because you have actually learned new skills and this is part of self-growth.

2. Try hanging out more frequently with your best friends. Give your friends some updates on your life. It will be easier for your friends to accept your partner into your social circle this way.

3. Try spending the weekends with your families. Take the initiative to visit your family if you are not living together with them and bring them out for a picnic or dinner.

How much “ME” time you need depends on what you and your partner are comfortable with. For example, some couples seem to do well spending every waking moment together.

You can take a look at the following tips to understand the amount of “ME” time you need.

1. Communicate with your partner and discuss the amount of time both of you would like to spend together each week. Discuss with your partner and once both of you are agreeable, stick to the consensus.

2. You need to recognize that your partner has other commitments outside your relationship. Grant your partner more individual space if necessary. Each individual needs space and time for self-growth.

3. Trust your partner and be confident with yourself. Never think that your partner will mess around with the private time that you have freed up for him/her.

If you decide to grant each other some private time, you should be prepared to trust your partner.

It might be loving to spend time together, but you need to remember that all of us need space to do our own stuff too.

Your world should never revolve around one person or relationship!