Beware the rebound relationship

How many times have you seen one of your friends break up with a long-term partner only to find, the very next week, someone who was obviously all wrong for them? Its one of the most common after effects of the end of relationships: rebound dating.

The idea of rebound relationships is so ingrained into the way we think about dating that it just seems natural to look for one after a breakup. Theres something to be said for getting “back in the saddle,” choosing a partner when your judgment is clouded usually does more harm than good overall. If you want to get over your ex fast, there are better ways to do it.

Band-Aid relationships: rebound mindset

The first step to keeping yourself from doing something youll regret is to take an honest look at what youre feeling and understand how those feelings can lead you places youd rather not go. A lot of times we just miss the companionship and look for someone to fill the gap in our schedule and distract us from the fact that our hearts just been broken. In that case, make a point of finding a social time-filler that doesnt involve romance.

Maintain your standards

The best thing you can do to avoid getting involved with someone whos all wrong for you is stick to your standards. In fact, go ahead and raise them a little just to add a safety buffer. If the person youre thinking about dating is less kind, less intelligent, less anything that youd normally want, stay away. The people dont make for good relationships, rebound or otherwise.

Beware of the handiest person

When we look for someone to rebound with, we need someone fast. We dont have time to “waste” looking for someone we really click with, so we tend to latch on to someone we already know and have at least some rapport with. It might be a close friend, a co-worker, even someone who works at the grocery store down the street. If you find yourself falling for someone youve never been the least bit attracted to before, stop and think about whats really going on here.

Take time for yourself

Instead of filling your time with go-nowhere dates, get out and make some new friends (thats “friends,” not “lovers.” Theres a difference.) Get involved in something youve always wanted to do but never had time for. Whatever you do, dont sit around pining for your ex or scouring the bookstore shelves for self help books.

Be gentle with yourself.

Even if your not sobbing into your pillow every night, the end of a relationship will naturally make you feel a little bummed out and low on energy. Take that into account and try not to start any major projects for a few weeks. Instead, treat yourself to some time out to do something you enjoy.

Of course, not every rebound relationship ends up a disaster. If youre lucky, youll have a fun fling. If you do decide to get involved with someone after a breakup, though, make sure youve taken a little off by yourself and youre not lowering your standards. While we can prevent broken relationships: rebound dates gone wrong are easy to avoid. Want to get back with your Ex? Please visit: http://www.squidoo.com/ex-back