A Lasting Relationship In Troubled Times

A lasting relationship can be distinguished from a troubled relationship by the couple’s ability to deal with relationship issues during their most difficult times. During the good times, relationship issues are more easily solved. But the true test comes with the bad times, when comfort and security are replaced with conflict. Couples who can resolve relationship issues in these instances are in far better shape to change a troubled relationship into a better relationship.

Built on attitude, and respect, a lasting relationship builds over time, and imparts a sense of emotional maturity to the couple. And it is this maturity, combined with a healthy attitude, that can enable a couple to return to the way things were when life was far less troubling.

Unlike lasting relationships, troubled relationships are based on resentment and conflict. And so to bypass this conflict, we must ask ourselves these important questions.

“Is it so vital to me to win this fight that I am willing to destroy my relationship over it?”

“Am I willing to win this conflict at any cost?”

“Is it possible to put this dispute behind me so that I can move forward?”

Couples in conflict must be very careful not to allow those relationship issues to destroy the love between them. By adhering to the following important rules, couples can begin the journey to revitalizing their relationship.

1.Steer clear of meaningless fights. Sometimes it is important to take a stand, but make certain that stand is about a serious relationship issue. Instead, adapt the principles of respect and compromise. This is how lasting relationships are built.

2.No more blaming. A couple needs to work as a team to resolve frustrations. Unfortunately, when we blame our frustrations on each other, we shut down communication and hope for resolving those conflicts.

3.Listen to each other. Clearly we cannot hope to solve our relationship issues if we are not willing to respect each other’s opinions. And if we do not listen to those opinions, how can we ever respect what our partner has to say.

4.Concentrate on what’s happening now. By focusing only on the present, we are bypassing the need to place blame for what has happened before. When we place blame, we are merely harvesting resentment. Resentment must be set aside in favor of resolving the relationship issues that we face in the present.

5.Some problems must be let go. Accept that in all relationships, there are some issues that cannot be resolved mutually. In those instances, the couple must agree to compromise and respect for one another’s feelings. Respect means letting go, even if your partner does not. As such, you are leading by example, encouraging an ultimate agreement. Clearly this is far more important that allowing a relationship breakup over one issue.

6.The power to forgive. A relationship void of forgiveness is a relationship based on resentment. Resentment is powered by the need to get even. Conversely, forgiveness is the power that drives love.

7.Place your relationship first. Especially when trouble lurks, couples must be willing to dedicate the time to make the relationship work. This means respecting each other and resisting the urge to view another as competitors. Instead, couples must face the troubles together. Lasting relationships benefit from shared efforts. In this environment, most any relationship issue can be resolved.