Month: October 2018

It’s not uncommon for a woman to find that she has sabotaged a good relationship. If you have done this yourself in the past, then you might be wondering why that is and what you can do to change it so that it does not happen to you in your future. Sabotaging a relationship is actually pretty common and it’s not exclusive to women, though it does tend to happen a little more frequently to females than it does males. It’s not easy to try and have a relationship with someone else, and no one gives you a map or a blueprint on exactly what you need to do to make a relationship work, do they?

There are many possibilities for why someone might sabotage a relationship and we will get to a few of them in a moment. Before that, though, you want to remind yourself that you DO deserve to have a good relationship and there is no reason why that cannot happen. With the right mindset about dating, you can end up having exactly the kind of situation that you desire to have in your life.

Here are some reasons why a woman might sabotage a good relationship:

1) You feel like it is too good to be true.

There is no question that we live in a cynical world. We expect that bad things are going to happen and when they don’t.. we often wait around for the inevitable shoe to drop. You might feel as though you really do not deserve to be happy and that can cause you to expect that bad things are going to pop up. If this is the case, then you need to train yourself to think a little more positive when it comes to dating and expect that good things will happen to you and that there is no such thing as too good to be true when the situation is RIGHT.

2) You’ve learned this behavior from someone else.

Growing up, we look at other people in our lives to give us the direction and examples of what a relationship should be like. If you have modeled yourself after someone else who was always sabotaging their relationships, then it is no wonder why this seems to happen to you. This is a cycle that you CAN break, things can change, and you can learn a better way. You really do not have to stay stuck in this pattern forever.

3) Most of your relationships have been bad, so this is what you expect to happen.

If you are used to ending up with the wrong guy, with making the wrong decision about dating, then it might be the reason why you would sabotage a good relationship. We tend to live up to our own expectations, and if you expect that the relationship is going to turn sour, then it only stands to reason that you will find a way to make it happen. This is another cycle that can easily be broken.

Try evaluating your own relationship. Can you identify a balance of 50-50 give and take in the relationship? If you can’t, you should start making the unavoidable changes in order to save your relationship. Take the first step by learning how to maintain your relationship with a balance of give and take.

First, let me tell you the truth. It is impossible to say whether your partnership is definitively equal because it is all about your perception. As such, to succeed in saving your relationship, you need to be objective.

You need to be able to gauge objectively how much love your partner and yourself is putting in to maintain the relationship.

Money foregone can be use to measure sacrifice towards a relationship but it is not a correct and useful gauge. In fact, it is a dangerous form of measurement. One should avoid using money to measure love.

Likewise the really important rewards of being in a relationship can only be assessed by the individuals concerned.

Couples will feel loved from the relationship when there is a balance of give and take. There are no considerations about why your partner is giving you less attention than you have given him/her.

There will be resentment in a relationship if there is a large imbalance of give and take. You will begin to feel that your contribution is not recognized and appreciated by your partner.

Usually, most relationships started out with the imbalance of sacrifice and couples who are unaware will only find out about the problem when the sacrificing partner decides to leave.

There are people who are more likely to sacrifice than others and also people who only think about themselves. Thus, never let your relationship be in such situation.

There are times when couples have to make sacrifices in terms of hobbies, interests and emotional ties so as to build a lasting relationship. All of us will give up other relationships toward the one and only special one. Both partners have to work to find ways to relate to one another and grow within that relationship.

Setting aside some time to reflect the daily actions done by your partner and show appreciation can assist to strike a balance of give and take. If you are the giving party, communicate to your partner on your feelings so that he/she will understand and start to appreciate what you have done.

Do you think you are a give or taker? Do you think your partner is a person who take or give more? If you think that you are the one who is always giving to your partner and you feel that you should be treated better, you can save the relationship by bringing up this basic principle to your partner.

Lynda Lahman is a professional marriage and family therapist who suddenly found herself drawn into a love affair with a man who happened to be a serious motorcyclist. This books is the story of how she and her new husband, Terry, developed their relationship, while participating in grueling motorcycling endurance events.ts.

Because Lynda’s viewpoint is from a feminine perspective, -Two-Up- reminded me of the popular book -Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus,- by John Gray. Let’s face it, men typically want to get focused on a prize, score and get on down the road. Women seem to be more interested in developing relationships. So, if you’re a typical male reader, you’ll probably be impatient flipping through the first half of -Two-Up,- but you’ll eventually get focused on some outstanding descriptions of endurance rallies, including the infamous Iron Butt Rally.

Put both halves of the book together, and we have a worthwhile text for both sexes. Even people with no motorcycling experience will find this an exciting and impressive read. Available from amazon.com in paperback, -Two-Up- (ISBN 13: 9781469913735) is 5.5- x 8.5- and 214 pages for $11.66 or $5.99 on Kindle. – David L. Hough

Your partner is waiting for you to got back home safely. Before riding, choose your helmet brands properly.

It would seem that along with an income, a place to live and food to eat, relationships are a necessary part of life. Humans are social beings who need companionship, though there are the few, as always, who appear to defy this need. That aside, humans, for the most part, need companionship that would allow them a best friend who will love and support them, just as they need to support and love their partner. Without this, life can seem long, boring, lonely and purposeless. This is not to say that everyone in a relationship is completely happy with it. In fact, there are some people out there who feel they are trapped in their relationship.

There are many reasons why a relationship would not work out. It is common knowledge that many relationships will end due to boredom, infidelity, loss of interest or conflict, but feeling trapped is often not listed. There are a number of reasons why a person may feel so trapped in a relationship that they refuse to leave it and try to make it work despite their feelings. They may worry about hurting their partner by telling them they are no longer interested in remaining in the relationship, feel that if they leave this relationship they will be unsuccessful in finding another one, feel they arent good enough to find someone else, or they may even feel that staying will avoid a threatening situation because they are possibly in an abusive and/or possessive relationship they are afraid to leave. Regardless of the reason one might feel trapped in a relationship, it is not they way someone should feel. While good, strong and healthy relationships do take some effort and work, feeling trapped is a sign that something is wrong. The next step is to figure out why one might be feeling trapped. Once the possible reason has been realized, appropriate action can be taken to deal with the trapped feeling.

It is not always easy for someone to figure out why they might be feeling trapped in a relationship, and even more difficult to figure out how to handle their situation properly. Consulting a counselor or a therapist is usually a good idea when dealing with difficulties in a relationship, especially if one would like to clear their thoughts before bringing it to the attention of their partner. For those who are not comfortable with seeing a counselor or therapist in person, they can easily contact and online counselor from their home computer as long as they have an internet connection. Online therapy is fast becoming the primary choice for many looking for some helpful advice because of how accessible it is. All one has to do is go online, open a browser and search for online counseling. There are many sites and online therapists who are offering their help online so that more people can get the help they need without feeling too uncomfortable. Online therapy is not only convenient, but confidential and successful as well.

If you or anyone that you know would care for more information regarding this post, feel free to visit http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com

Are you ready to commit to long distance love and your man has cold feet? This is a tough situation, but I think that my experience can provide the right kind of advice for your long distance relationship to flourish. There are some very basic questions you need to ask yourself if he is afraid to get into the relationship. I think my advice below will not only help you identify the issue, but also find a remedy for it.

How well do you know each other? My girlfriend and I have been together for 10 months and we couldn”t be happier. I think a lot of that has to do with the amount of work we do on building the actual bond between us. It began with a lot of old fashioned “getting to know each other”. We really went from A to B to C in a stereotypical relationship. What do you do? Where did you go to college? Where are you from? Simple things like that go a long way in learning about person. Not only that but they segue into other conversations and subjects that will build even more links between you. Perhaps your man has some cold feet because he has reservations because his heart isn”t convinced that he knows you well enough to commit. I think a great place to start if your man isn”t interested is asking if your foundations are well built.

Physical Connection “” Another place to look if your man is afraid to commit to a long distance relationship is the strength of your physical connection, and more specifically, his needs. This can be a tough one to “feel out” but men need a physical connection with their mate and the very definition of a long distance relationship makes that difficult.

Try to find out his physical needs without asking directly. You can pick up on his signals by the amount of touching he does while you two are together. Is he constantly holding your hand or twirling your hair? How often does he kiss you? How frequent are sexual interactions? I think you can get a pretty good idea of his needs by just reading the clues he is leaving, but if not than perhaps it is best to just come out and ask.

Be cognizant of the fact that these types of things can be difficult to talk about if you aren”t used to it so tread lightly. Frame the conversation with smaller talk and then just come out with it. Say something like, “We both have needs from a physical standpoint and I just want to make sure you feel open to talk about yours.” That will ease any awkwardness and hopefully he”ll be able to express what is going on from that standpoint. If you don”t think it is a lack of physical connection, nor you two not knowing each other well enough than lets look to his other options for some more reasons he is afraid to commit.

The third thing would be What are his other options? Think about this one long and hard because he might not be giving you the full story on why he isn”t interested in jumping into a long distance relationship. My honest advice is that he may just be saying he is scared to commit to a LDR when in reality he just has other options. His other options might include other love interests or wanting to be single.

I think the hardest to spot is the latter: wanting to be single. This would be basically him saying to you, “I”d rather go it alone than commit myself to a long distance relationship”. That is a very difficult thing to say if he cares about you, though, especially if he cares about your feelings being hurt. You must realize that the prospects of a long distance relationship are fairly grim so the long term gain must outweigh the difficult that is inherent in a LDR.

He might also have another love interest in mind. This could be difficult to compete with especially if that other person lives in the same area. If you suspect this is the case than you had better bring it up. “Are you afraid to enter into our relationship because there is someone else that is a closer distance to you?”, is a great question to ask. If you don”t ask and you suspect there is something like this than you”ll regret it because you”ll always wonder what is going on. You”ll be beating yourself up checking his facebook everyday to see whether he is in a relationship or if there are pictures of him with someone else. My advice is to just be honest with yourself and analyze his situation; he may have other options that he feels are better routes.

Conclusively, the best long distance relationship advice is to just be really be honest in your evaluation of where your relationship is at in regards to how well you two know each other. He isn”t going to commit to something that already has the odds stacked against him if he doesn”t feel he knows you that well. Also, think about his other options and weigh the physical connection he will demand.