Month: March 2018

Almost everyone in their life has had to go through a breakup. A breakup is a strange thing. Most things in life, the more you do them, the easier it becomes to do. With breakups no matter how many you’ve had to go through in the past, they certainly don’t become easier to go through.

After a breakup, unless the relationship was completely terrible, most people desire to get their ex back. In fact, sometimes, even if the relationship was unhealthy, they still desire to get their ex back. You really shouldn’t try to get back with your ex if they ever used physical violence or words to hurt you. That is not a healthy relationship. If you were in a relationship like that and your ex broke up with you, then consider yourself lucky.

Otherwise, most relationships follow a pretty predictable pattern. When you first meet someone everything is wonderful and new. They can do no wrong and you can do no wrong in their eyes. After a short while comfort sets in. You adjust to each other. When the newness is gone and the comfort is there things in the relationship change. The little quirks you were willing to overlook before actually bother you now.

There is an expression: “Familiarity breeds contempt.” Truer words couldn’t be spoken for relationships. After a couple get comfortable and familiar with each other, trouble usually starts. This is exactly what tests the strength of the relationship. It takes work and effort to maintain a relationship. Sometimes, when things break, instead of getting repaired, the other person wants out of the relationship completely

Do you believe, despite it being over, your relationship is worth salvaging, even if the other person made it clear, it’s over? You need some answers on how get your ex back. Here are four steps you can take.

1.Say sorry

Saying you are sorry is one of the best how get your ex back methods. Even if it doesn’t get your ex back, it’s usually the best first step. Be sure that you say sorry for the right reasons. After a breakup it can be easy to blame yourself for everything. Remember, it takes two people to have a successful relationship. Knowing what exactly to apologize for is critical.

Whatever you do, when you apologize don’t let your ex bait you into an argument. The biggest irony of saying sorry to an ex is that it can easily lead to another fight. If you say you’re sorry, and your ex brings something else up, don’t get defensive. Stay calm, keep your emotions, your ego, and your pride in check.

2.Sit down and talk things out

If your ex is up to it, set a time where both of you can sit down and talk. Whatever you don’t beg, plead, cry, or force your ex into this.

Whether you’re already dating or simply moving into this, knowing what kind of relationship you want will help you find the ideal partner. Having some knowledge of where you stand at, and what you need will help you likely be operational and honest using the people you fulfill, so you do not mislead anyone or end up feeling misled.

While it’s not necessarily possible to demand a solution from a new person you might have just met, you will be able to determine fairly rapidly whether their agenda is comparable to yours.

Knowing ahead of time what your own agenda for the future is can help you save both considerable time and potential heart-ache.

How Serious Have you been

The most essential question to think about is about the amount of commitment and relationship you are considering. Do you desire to be married at this time next year, preferably with a baby in route? Are you attempting to spend time along with someone and have a great time, without any pretense of the lasting commitment?

Or would you like to meet someone, create a friendship and go from there, getting serious in the event that’s how it calculates but not necessarily searching for that outcome in advance?

Knowing the response to this question is essential, because your perfect partner is going to be someone looking for something exactly the same or similar for you. If you are searching for a serious relationship to build up quickly, you’re not likely to find that with someone who would like to have fun and go slow. Thus, knowing which kind of relationship you want can help you figure out who’s potential partner material and who’s not.

Determining Your own Seriousness

If you aren’t sure about the solution to this query, it will enable you to look at exactly what you’ve done previously. Even if you think you want to have fun, for those who have past experiences associated with jumping quickly in to deep romantic relationships fun might not be what you want.

Your past won’t always let you know the truth about what you need, though. For example, you may truly want fun but possess some draw to partners who desire more than which. Once you’re within the relationship, their intensity might seem like pressure and you are caving in to some relationship that isn’t whatsoever what you’re actually searching for.

Thus, it’s important to spend time examining your ideas and feelings regarding dating and relationships along with your past actions. That which you really want might be one, the additional, or a mixture of both. Take constantly you need to process this stuff, because you will have a far greater chance of discovering your perfect partner after you have thought them via.

When you discover what you’re looking with regard to, How Do You Know Who Is Your Ideal Relationship Partner. You will realize that it’s right for you personally because of exactly how it fits together with your personality and your present lifestyle.

It may resonate deeply along with you on an psychological level, too, though you need to note that your emotions might not be a great indicator of that which you really want. If you have been hurt often or have simply experienced something hard, you may wish to go with your mind instead of your own heart in determining the kind of relationship you would like.

The depression you experience after a break-up can be one of the most overwhelming feelings you ever go through. You are constantly asking yourself what went wrong and wondering is there still hope to save your broken relationship? It is very easy to do the wrong thing and once it’s done you can never take it back. Avoiding this situation will be the difference between getting back together and losing them forever.

Depression, hopelessness and desperation, are all very true and valid emotions but in order to work through these feelings you must be willing to implement steps needed in order to find a way to save your relationship.

First you must reach down deep and make an honest assessment of the kind of relationship you had with your ex. Why did you break up in the first place? Was it perhaps just a misunderstanding or disagreement and you really feel there is a chance to repair it? Or does it go deeper than that in which you must really seek the truth as to whether the effort to save your broken relationship is going to be worth it.

If it was a misunderstanding or disagreement, are you willing to compromise and go on with the relationship? Just remember, you cannot change the way a person is. They will still be the same person after the make up as they were before the break up. If you have dealt with your true feelings and feel he/she is the one for you then it’s time to take the next step.

One of the hardest steps may be the most vital step in saving a broken relationship. Go on with your life! I say this is the hardest step because when you have a hard time dealing with day to day life, it is almost impossible to go on as if nothing has happened. But it is so important for your ex to see that you don’t need them back to survive. Find new things to do. Explore hobbies that you have always wanted to do but never found the time. Get yourself in a place where you are feeling better about yourself and slowly the depression and hopelessness will start to ease.

When this happens you can really take a step back and be honest with yourself if what you really want to do is save your broken relationship. More often than not, we miss our ex because they have become a comfortable habit. When you change these habits, it helps you to realize if you want them back for who they are and not because you were content in the relationship.

If after all this you truly feel you still want to save your broken relationship then you need to rely on honesty and hope. Talk with your ex and discuss the chances of getting back together. If you still have hurt feelings wait until those have subsided. Re-hashing those feelings will only make things worse. When you’re ready to talk, be sure to talk about the compromises you will both need to make in order for it to work. Also, make sure you never make promises you don’t intend to keep.

A happy, fulfilling, romantic relationship is something many people desire and attempt to bring into their lives. A marriage in particular is an important relationship most people work very hard to protect. If both partners are committed, put forth effort, and are reasonably balanced emotionally, a successful union is definitely within reach. However, there are certain dynamics that might exist within a marriage or other intimate relationship that make a healthy union very unlikely. When certain behavior patterns cause destruction and emotional pain for one or both partners, the relationship becomes a toxic one. Here are 4 signs that your relationship is toxic:

1. There is abuse in the relationship. This may be physical or emotional abuse, and both are very damaging. If you are living with or fear the threat of physical abuse, this is a very dangerous situation. Physical abuse often escalates over time, and it is important to contact a domestic violence shelter or counselor specializing in this particular issue for specific help. There is an increased risk for harm at the time of leaving a physically abusive relationship, and it is important to create an appropriate safety plan for getting out. Emotional abuse is a pattern of criticism, punishment, and controlling behavior that causes emotional damage to the victim, and increases feelings of inferiority, incompetence, and is crazy making for the victimized partner.

2.Your husband or partner is actively abusing drugs and alcohol, and refuses to accept help or treatment for the problem. This is a very difficult situation, but the truth is that your partner is putting you and your needs in the relationship as a lower priority than achieving the next high or drink. The influence of an addictive use of substances makes it very difficult for your partner to be fully present and giving in the relationship. It can become a trap to be caught up in managing the various crises that come about in your partner’s life as a result of the substance abuse, and neglecting your own needs. Your husband or partner’s potential financial and/or legal problems resulting from the addiction can cause you serious issues as well. Your safety may even be put at risk if, for example, you get in a car with your partner after he or she has been drinking.

3.There is repeated adultery or affairs in your marriage or relationship. An affair can become a catalyst for better communication and accountability between partners and strengthen the relationship, provided both partners recommit and do not continue the adulterous behaviors. However, if the betrayals continue, there is no real foundation to rebuild trust or intimacy. In addition to the emotional pain of the betrayed spouse, there is the risk of physical illness and even death if you are intimate with someone who is not monogamous with you.

4.Your husband or partner has a personality disorder, like narcissism or sociopathy. These disorders have a specific set of symptoms, but the results can be similar for the non-disordered partner bewilderment, confusion, and hurt over the destructive actions of your partner. Unfortunately, there is little in the way of effective treatments for these disorders at this time, and the disordered partner rarely acknowledges that there is a problem to begin with. This makes the prospect for change very small.