Month: October 2017

So here they are – some loving actions to take when first exploring a new relationship:

1. Stay focused inside your own body, noticing your own feelings rather than just being tuned into the other person’s feelings. Stay conscious of NOT taking responsibility for the others person’s feelings of worth or security, and NOT making the other person responsible for your feelings of worth or security.

2. Make a solid decision before getting together with the other person that you are willing to lose the other person rather than lose yourself. Make a conscious decision to NOT make the other person’s wants, needs and feelings more important than your own.

3. Stay clear on your own truth, NOT letting the other person talk you in or out of what feels good and right for you.

4. Be willing to take full, 100% responsibility for behaving in a way that makes you feel worthy, safe and powerful. Be willing to be who you really are rather than trying to impress. Make a conscious decision that being in integrity with who you really are, is more important than getting the other person’s approval.

5. Do NOT disregard the big or small things that you find difficult, intolerable or unacceptable. If something is unacceptable or intolerable to you early in the relationship, the chances are that it is not going to get better. Do NOT convince yourself that, because there are so many good things about this person, you can overlook the problems or get the other person to change. This NEVER works!

Fears of rejection can emerge very early in a relationship. Some people are terrified of doing something wrong and being rejected, because they make they other person responsible for their feelings of worth and lovability. The fear of rejection can lead a person to give him/herself up to the other person, thereby touching off fears of engulfment – of loving oneself and being controlled or consumed by the other person. Thus, fears of loss – loss of self or loss of other – often surface quickly and people find themselves either giving in or pulling away in their efforts to protect themselves from their fears.

If you allow fear to guide you, you will likely either pull away or end up in an unsatisfying relationship. The most important thing to remember as you move into exploring a new relationship is: LET LOVE BE YOUR GUIDE, NOT FEAR. This means that you need to be open to learning about what is most loving to YOU – what is really in your highest good – rather than trying to have control over not being rejected or controlled by the other person. So, number six is:

6. Keep asking your inner wisdom, “What is the loving action toward myself right now? What is in my highest good right now?”

If you keep asking this vital question, you will find your way through exploring a new relationship without losing yourself and without getting hurt by the other person.

This article is about a loving relationship book by best selling author, Michael Webb on Love relationship, save marriage, dating, couples, family life, avoid divorce, marriage advice, marriage plan, dating secrets.

Best Selling author of books on love relationship, marriage and family delivers a sizzling book that helps many couples avert common relationship nightmares by knowing exactly the right questions to ask to determine if your potential marital spouse is good (or not) for you.

The most common and catastrophic problem facing America and the whole world today is not the spread of weapons of mass destruction but the breakdown of the traditional family and the attendant problems of dysfunctional homes, moral decadency, cultural degeneration, crimes and urban decay.

The root of this problem is that most people enter into love relationships and begin having families without knowing their dates, partners and spouses well enough and without caring for compatibility.

Therefore many of these relationships don’t last a long time.

After they have a few children, the marriage collapses.

Then custody battles ensue.

Children are often caught up in the battle between their fathers and mothers and are greatly impacted psychologically and socially all their lives by the traumatic bitter experience.

When children have no role models to look up to, they grow up with undeveloped characters which often cause failures in life.

They may be disposed to join the wrong gangs and live unpleasant lives filled with drugs, crimes, bitterness, misery and movement in and out of prisons.

This is why Michael Webb’s book about couples asking the right questions is of utmost importance in helping them to choose the right compatible mates for a loving relationship that may lead to a lasting, happy and solid marriage.

In this revealing relationship book, Mr. Webb has offered 1000 sensible, critical and important relationship questions every couple who desires success in marriage should ask each other before embarking on a serious love relationship.

Some of these relationship questions are about: Personality, Feelings & Emotions, Favorites, Pets, Attractions, Health, Food & Well Being, Vacations, Morals, Convictions and Beliefs, Religion & Spiritual Matters, Car & Driver, Holidays & Celebrations, Home & Home Life, Past & Future, Hobbies & Entertainment, Love, Romance & Date Nights, Friends & Family, Communication, Career and Education, Money, Relationships – Past & Present, Children & Child Rearing, Wedding & Honeymoon, Sex.

I know you wouldn’t believe if I told you that spending too much time with your partner would hurt the relationship. People have the conventional belief that spending more time together helps to understand each other better. However, they do not know that all of us are actually individuals who need personal space.

It is important to learn how to achieve the balance between US (needs of relationship) and ME (individual needs). A simple equation can explain this:

“ME + ME = US”

Too much “ME” can result in you and your partner drifting apart, while too much “US” can stifle your partner, causing resentment and undesirable conflicts.

You must learn to achieve an equilibrium of family, friends, love, work and self. How can you maintain your individuality?

1. Go and take part in an activity which you can enjoy even if you are alone. Take up some courses which interest you such as surf boarding, yoga or dance classes. After sometime, you will discover that you are a much happier person with more private time for yourself. This is because you have actually learned new skills and this is part of self-growth.

2. Try hanging out more frequently with your best friends. Give your friends some updates on your life. It will be easier for your friends to accept your partner into your social circle this way.

3. Try spending the weekends with your families. Take the initiative to visit your family if you are not living together with them and bring them out for a picnic or dinner.

How much “ME” time you need depends on what you and your partner are comfortable with. For example, some couples seem to do well spending every waking moment together.

You can take a look at the following tips to understand the amount of “ME” time you need.

1. Communicate with your partner and discuss the amount of time both of you would like to spend together each week. Discuss with your partner and once both of you are agreeable, stick to the consensus.

2. You need to recognize that your partner has other commitments outside your relationship. Grant your partner more individual space if necessary. Each individual needs space and time for self-growth.

3. Trust your partner and be confident with yourself. Never think that your partner will mess around with the private time that you have freed up for him/her.

If you decide to grant each other some private time, you should be prepared to trust your partner.

It might be loving to spend time together, but you need to remember that all of us need space to do our own stuff too.

Your world should never revolve around one person or relationship!

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